Supernatural S09
Supernatural S09E20: “Bloodlines”

Most of the episodes this season are painfully bad, but this is pathetic. There's no way this backdoor pilot will lead to a series. Shitty actors, shitty writing, shitty setting. The worst episode this season, and that's saying a LOT.

Rating  

This “backdoor pilot” came out of someone’s backdoor, alright.

[do action=”play-by-play-spoilers”/]

[do action=”moment” emo=”Cheesy” title=”It’s a full-on CW invasion!”/]

I can’t stand the way the CW casts its shows, and this is prime example of the crap they usually pull. It’s all beautiful, uninteresting people who just can’t act their way out of a paper bag. Faces are interchangeable, lines are wooden. Talk about a terrible first impression for Bloodlines.

[do action=”moment” emo=”Boring” title=”Who ARE these people?”/]

So far, it’s a regular Supernatural episode, only with a shitload of characters I seriously don’t care about. They have nothing that makes them interesting besides their stupid monster powers, and even calling that interesting is a major stretch. The scope is too vast for a series, yet alone a pilot. I don’t even understand why someone thought it would be a good idea to try and make this.

[do action=”moment” emo=”Funny” title=”‘You’re what… Monster cops?'”/]

Monster Cops, now THAT’s a title for a TV show. Needs more handlebar mustaches and Eric Estrada, and this is good to go.

[do action=”moment” emo=”Cliche” title=”And it all comes down to a lady in distress.”/]

This is so pathetically bad… The writers of this episode had ONE CHANCE to shine and give us a pilot we want to watch, yet when it all comes down to it, they’re still spewing out the same tired clichés they give us every week this season. There’s a psychotic bad guy with a lame excuse to kill monsters, and a poor damsel in distress who needs rescuing. Would it kill the writers to write something different for once?

[do action=”moment” emo=”Facepalm” title=”These two have the chemistry of a wet rock.”/]

This is so bad. The shifter dude and the werewolf chick deadpan lines of dialogues at each other, then they kiss! And then the shifter looks like he just French-kissed a toilet bowl.

[do action=”moment” emo=”Laughable” title=”‘Dad? DAD?'”/]

That’s it, Bloodlines? THAT’s your hook? The hunter dude getting a call from his dad on his cellphone? Well, you tried. Your pilot is dead in the water. This is even worse than Supernatural season 9, and that’s saying a LOT.


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